How to help your child plan their wedding

Planning a wedding has got to be one of the most stressful yet rewarding experiences that we could ever have. There’s just so much to think about from the decorations to the ring and even your dresses. You’ll stay up all night thinking about ideas, and then run them through your head during working hours, getting distracted constantly while you think about how the perfect wedding should go.

But when everything’s settled and the big day arrives, it all just falls into place and (hopefully) turns out better than you could have ever anticipated. So then when it comes to your child’s wedding, why does it suddenly seem so difficult? You’ve got plenty of experience with planning your own wedding, so surely it should be easy to help your child!

Well, not really. Trends change over time and what your child and their partner want for a wedding might be different from yours. In fact, helping your child plan their wedding could be considerably harder than your own, but it’ll be just as rewarding when it all comes together! So here are a couple of our top tips to help your child plan their wedding.

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First things first, does your child want your help?

Look, this can be a really hard pill to swallow, but you really need to ask your child if they need your help in the first place. A lot of couples would greatly appreciate having someone with experience help them with their wedding, but if they’d prefer to do things on their own then you should really let them be. You can just sit back, relax, and let them take care of things. It’ll be one less thing for you to worry about, and you can genuinely be surprised when you arrive at the wedding and experience everything.

But with that said, if they do want help, then you’re free to give as much (or as little) assistance as you want!

How can you help plan your child’s wedding?

There are going to be several different levels of “help” that you can provide. Some parents end up planning the entire wedding for their children, while others take a backseat approach and just offer advice here and there. Your approach should depend on how much your child wants you to help, and you’ve also got to consider their partner as well. After all, it’s a joint union, so it’s not just your side of the family that gets to decide!

We recommend starting with communication. All parties (that is, both sides of the family) should be in agreement if there are lots of things to plan. If there are some things that you disagree on, then speak up and share your thoughts. There are certainly going to be things that you can’t agree on, but you shouldn’t let that get to you. At the end of the day, the wedding is for your child and their partner, not you!

Communication is also important for keeping in touch with your child and what they want to achieve with the wedding. Think about their favorite colors, flowers, and also a location that really speaks to them. Put yourself in their shoes and try to follow what they’d like. Look at the many different wedding trends today instead of relying on older trends that you know, and don’t hesitate to brush up on your knowledge.

How much can they afford?

One of the biggest reasons to help your child with their wedding planning is to provide them with a larger budget. We all want the best for our children, so it’s normal for us to want to help out with such a big and memorable day. But where should your funds go? If your child doesn’t have a plan for the financial assistance you can offer them, then here are a few suggestions.

  • Upgrading wedding attire. Whether it’s a wedding dress from The Wedding Shop or a beautiful ring from a reputable jeweler, your extra funds can always go to upgrading their wedding attire. This is a great way to help because it lets them choose beautiful new dresses and dazzling new rings thanks to your assistance.

  • Booking a bigger venue. Larger venues require larger sums of money. If there are lots of guests attending or if your children are limiting their guest list due to space, then you can offer to help pay for a larger venue.

  • Entertainment and catering costs. You could also help with entertainment, such as hiring a DJ or planning fun events. Catering costs can also be expensive, especially if there are a lot of people coming. There’s also the option of paying for everyone’s drinks at an open bar–a cost that might get crazier than you think!

  • Logistical costs and miscellaneous expenses. Lastly, don’t forget about logistics costs. This can include transportation for the bride and groom, or even ferrying guests to and from their hotel. This can also include things such as a wedding photographer or even rooms at the venue.

At the end of the day, both wedding planning and the wedding itself can get really expensive. If you’re willing to help out financially, then your children will probably greatly appreciate the assistance. However, if they don’t want financial help, then try not to be too pushy with it!

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Some final words

Helping your child with their wedding can be tough, but showing support and giving them assistance throughout the planning phase can certainly improve things. Whether you’re offering financial support, advice, or even connections, every little thing will go a long way.

Just remember to respect boundaries. If your child or their partner doesn’t want too much help, then you should respect their decision and let them do things on their own as well. Being pushy isn’t going to go well! Keep your distance and let your child and their partner make most of the decisions unless they specifically ask for your advice.

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